Parenting the Exceptional!

Our son was born in 2001 with agenesis of the corpus callosum, resulting in multiple disorders and disabilities. For many years while our son Jeremiah David was slowly mastering growing milestones. As a Christian family, while trusting God, we learned how to celebrate small victories and accept minor defeats. Our family and friends often showed great concern for our unpredictable and often chaotic life, yet they did not know how to jump into our double-dutch parenting style. As years passed, communication was essential in helping loved ones understand how best to support us as a family unit. This vital communication and active listening allowed us to create a village of capable, compassionate, and patient individuals that could give my husband and me moments to breathe while parenting.

Understanding the Problem

There is no magic remedy or perfect plan of action in caring for children, especially those born with challenges or limitations. As caregivers, one gets up daily to give it another try. As a Christian, Dr. Gary Oster said it best, “Man can make things different or better, only God makes something entirely new.”[1] Caregivers must use a holistic perspective and encompass more unconventional ideas for physical and emotional support. We have to allow God to use people to support us. Jesus brought unconditional love, mercy, grace, and compassion into all people’s lives.[2]  “God worked implicitly, secretly, and even paradoxically.[3]” through Jesus, the disciples, and apostles. He works the same way today by sending people into your life to help you.

Are You Hearing or Listening?

We can positively establish communication channels with people by sharing the concerns we often have for our child’s care, revealing vulnerability, sharing values, meshing that with what has gone wrong before, and being willing to teach them exactly what to do.[i] As the communication improves, people will better understand your family’s vision and know-how to help your family implement the best quality of life for our child.

You want to hire a teenage babysitter, but all of the questionings deflate your efforts to teach the young person how to care for your child. The current generation grew up with cell phones, the internet, Microsoft, Apple, and an explosion of social media outlets. Parents are at their wits end trying to communicate effectively with a “questioning” generation that wants –proof– before they complete what is assigned to them. Nevertheless, if the young person is willing to learn and has a heart for children like ours, patiently walk them through the process. Your child, verbal or nonverbal, will surprise you as they embrace care from a person closer to their age. I am a witness!

We All Need A Buddy

When Jeremiah was fifteen, he became a part of the Best Buddies International peer support group program at his high school. I had no idea how spending time away from his family with a peer would benefit him. Watch the video below to hear more about our son Jeremiah and his friend Carson.

Six years later, they are still friends, and Carson texts me from college to ask how Jeremiah is progressing with his learning goals.

Future Smart

The future is an uncertain environment. A future innovative family will “look beyond their own experiences and fields of expertise” to ensure the vision and mission of educating and raising their children are fulfilled.[4]

“The greatest legacy one can pass on to one’s children, and grandchildren is not money or other material things accumulated in one’s life, but rather a legacy of character and faith.”

— Billy Graham, evangelist

For many years, minimal support has been given to families with children having disabilities like our son Jeremiah David. Continue to believe in our children, seek support, learn as much as you can about the disability, and teach those that want to learn. This will enable your family to support our exceptional children with their—best quality of life.

 

AR Consulting is a faith-based company that provides educational support, advocacy services for families and children with disabilities, and professional development for educational professionals.

[1] Oster, G. W. (2011). The light prize: Perspectives on Christian innovation. Virginia Beach, VA: Positive Signs Media.

[2] Greenleaf, R. K., & Spears, L. C. (2002). Servant leadership: A journey into the nature of legitimate power and greatness.

[3] Robbins, V. K. (1996). Exploring the texture of texts: A guide to socio-rhetorical interpretation. Valley Forge, PA: Trinity Press International.

[4] Hines, A. (2006). Strategic foresight: The state of the art. Futurist, 40(5), 18-21.

[i] Denning, S. (2007). The secret language of leadership how leaders inspire action through narrative. San Francisco, CA: Wiley.